This is the oldest argument out there. I grow tired of discussing it, so I'm going to put my thoughts down here. The whole world can argue away without me. I'm so done.
WRITE WHAT YOU FUCKING KNOW!!!!!!! (*^@(#!!*#&^%)
Do you know how hard it is to read a piece of literature that's just a bunch of bullshit? Sure, anyone can be creative, tell a story, and add elements that are entertaining, but... is it convincing?
I've never been in an official dungeon. Not because I'm afraid to take a look, or because I'm turned off by it, but because the opportunity never presented itself (I have all I need available at home, although, I'm lining up a tour for educational purposes). But now, as a blossoming writer of erotic fiction, could I accurately describe the sexual instruments, decor, feel, smell and sensations, and the type of people associated with a dungeon? Maybe. Could I make my own fictional dungeon believable for the average reader? Probably. Could someone with a full knowledge of the inner workings of actual dungeons tell that what I've written is total bullshit? Umm... probably!
Think of it this way. Could you believe the description of an orgasm written by someone who had never had one?
I know... Now you're going to argue about fantasy and fantasy erotica.
YEAH... We all KNOW fucking Bigfoot is total fiction. There's no actual knowledge behind that one. (If you tell me you've been fucked by Bigfoot, as in, an actual life event, I will fucking smack you). And alien sex? Yeah, same deal. These are examples of where writing what you know does not apply!!!
Basically, if what you write is something that could happen in the real world, make it believable. Make it real. Write what you know based on actual knowledge of your subject matter. It's not only a better read, but it hits a deeper core with those readers who share the same knowledge. You can't connect to your readers with total bullshit. THIS IS IMPORTANT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX. Don't flood the world with bullshit information. It reflects negatively on the REAL side of the written word. You're going to piss of real participators of the kinky sex world with total bullshit.
Are you going to ask if I'm familiar with all the things in my erotic writing? Please do! Let me just say, it's not all bullshit! I've either experienced what I've written about firsthand, or I've researched and/or spoken about with those who have. Education people. Get it done.